🏈 The Urban Meyer Issue(s)

Dancing, kicking, screaming, and lots of wasted money.

Dec 17, 2021

Good morning. We switched to a Tues/Thurs/Sunday format after the fantasy playoffs started - but Urban Meyer was fired. Couldn’t help myself.

Consider this a tribute to one of the worst - and most entertaining - coaching chronicles in recent memory.

Where it started

On January 14th, 2020, Meyer was hired as the Jaguars new HC. Jags owner Shad Khan, who pursued Meyer, was enthusiastic about the hire and said, "I got it right."

Meyer signed a five-year deal estimated to be worth $10 to $12 million annually, making him one of the highest-paid head coaches in the NFL.

The Jaguars selected Meyer over Chiefs offensive coordinator Eric Bienemy, Jets HC Robert Saleh, former Buccanneers/Falcons interim coach Raheem Morris and Falcons HC Arthur Smith.

The Mistakes

The job opening was an attractive one, as Jacksonville had 11 draft picks, including two in each of the first two rounds, and $90 million in cap space. Generational talent Trevor Lawrence was set to become a Jaguar.

Even Jaguars star James Robinson has no idea what Urban Meyer is doing — Nothing to smile about

They had a promising young core of DE Josh Allen, LB Myles Jack, RB James Robinson. So what did Meyer do?

Drafted another RB in the first round.
Hired former Iowa strength and conditioning coach Chris Doyle, despite accusations of racist remarks and bullying. Doyle resigned less than 48 hours later after massive protests.
In May, signed Tim Tebow after Tebow spent six years away from football. He was signed as a TE. A position he never played. Tebow was released after one preseason game.
Meyer had Trevor Lawrence alternate days with the first-team offense with Gardner Minshew. Meyer later traded Minshew to Philadelphia for a 6th round pick.

The Interview

If you haven’t seen this, please enjoy. His shirtless friend, holding a bong, is in the mirror.

Pablo S. Torre @PabloTorre

My favorite character in the Urban Meyer Cinematic Universe is, of course, the shirtless boat guy who was allegedly hitting a bong in the mirror of Urban Meyer’s Big Ten Network live shot in 2020

The Quotes

You have to appreciate the grind." -Urban Meyer- - America's best pics and videos

“Every week is like playing Alabama” - Urban

“I had a better coaching staff at Bowling Green. You guys are f---ng terrible.” Urban also told coaches every week he was going to fire their a--.'

“I’m a winner and you’re all losers. Show me your resumes, what have you ever done?” - Urban to his assistants

Meyer was asked about Andre Cisco’s playing time. He said, “Cisco is playing a little bit more, I believe, I don’t have his numbers in front of me.” Cisco had played 0 defensive snaps.

“Hey, dipshit, make your f—ing kicks! I'm the head ball coach, I'll kick you whenever the f— I want." - Urban

“I don’t know,” after asked why was James Robinson benched longer than Carlos Hyde.

“Grind with me at an Applebees” - to a college sophomore

Tough, but pretty run of the mill stuff

According to multiple sources, assistants were upset at having to plan into the night for the preseason games. Three coaches left already, with two planning to leave after the season.

Jaguars look unprepared and confused during a season-opening 37-21 loss at Houston, which was regarded by many as the worst team in the league entering year.
I also bet $200 on the Texans finishing with the worst record.

Things went downhill quickly after Urban decided to head to his Ohio Applebees for a night off - rather than return to Jacksonville with the team (after another loss).

Putting on his dancing shoes

After a selfie emerged with a young woman, we thought that was it. But a video emerged with Meyer (married) having a young woman grind on him - while his wife watched their children.

The Pro & Con Podcast @TheProandConPod

Urban Meyer celebrating after the game

Players openly made fun of Meyer in the locker room in the days after the viral videos emerged. As did I.

In conclusion, in Meyer's only season with the Jaguars, the team went 2-11, its 10th season with double-digit losses in the past 11 years. Pat McAfee called it back in December 16, 2019.

The future for Urban?

CBS Sports' Allan Bell reported that the Jaguars will still owe Meyer "roughly $50 million" on his remaining contract, however, Sportico's Legal Expert, Michael McCann, reported Meyer would "likely be denied remaining payments" if he was fired for cause.

Where do we think he ends up? My guess: Outside Papa Johns.

“I’ve had over 40 pizzas in the last 30 days”

The future in Jacksonville?

Lost in this Urban news is that Shahid Khan is still in fact the owner. They should attract top talent, but given Khan’s track record, don’t be surprised if we see the “QB Whisperer” Adam Gase on a sideline sooner than we hoped.

Field Yates @FieldYates

A *ton* of work needs to be done to get things on track in Jacksonville, but the Jaguars job will have good appeal. 1. Trevor Lawrence + young pieces 2. $70M+ in cap flexibility next year 3. Draft capital (2022 top 5 pick) 4. An owner that is considered very patient

You’re here for the memes

And we’ve got some. The best of the bunch (and there was a bunch)…

Danny Kelly @DannyBKelly

urban meyer

This had me dying

Warren Sharp @SharpFootball

Urban Meyer trying to coach the Jaguars

Bryce Rossler @btrossler

As much as Urban Meyer deserved to lose his job, people are too content to celebrate firings and don’t stop to think about the human element of this and how it affects the families of the coaches. Urban’s family has to spend more time with him now, and that’s totally fucked.

And we said kickers don’t matter…

Buff Jagwell @ColtonFootball

Urban Meyer meeting Josh Lambo for the first time

Oluwajomiloju 🇳🇬 @JomiAdeniran

The Jaguars bringing Urban Meyer to the facility at 12:30 AM

The Jaguars’ players aren’t sad to see Urban Meyer go. A few of them this morning via text this to their agents ✌️.

In all seriousness, if you feel bad for Urban, don’t. Watch this:

Scott Barrett @ScottBarrettDFB

Man, this video is insane Not sure why I haven't seen or heard of this until now. Urban Meyer is really an all time POS and has no business coaching football at any level

An Unfair Game: Urban Meyer, a History of AbuseProject Veritas has released undercover video of former University of Florida athletes discussing the history of physical and mental abuse they experienced a...youtube.com

Quick Slants

Everyone’s got Covid. Don’t want to talk about it. However, the NFL and NFLPA agreed to updated COVID-19 protocols for players on Thursday afternoon that, effective immediately, allow players to test off of COVID list with no symptoms for 24 hours and a negative test.
How the NFL expects players to act after scoring a TD (video)
A look at how Nick Sirianni’s offense has evolved over the season
Profootballtalk reports the NFLPA is "aggressively" pushing for a postponement of Saturday's Cleveland/Las Vegas game following the Browns' coronavirus outbreak. Be careful with any starters in that game.

See you Sunday morning. Or maybe Saturday. Unless you’re Urban Meyer. I can’t stand Applebees, and I’m not a young blonde, so I won’t see Urban for a while.

- Jake

PS: 3 deep dives for ya:

Jakeem Grant - quietly has 108 yards and 3 TDs over his last two weeks. Someone has to make plays in Chicago.
Shayne Zylstra - TJ Hockenson was placed on the IR, Zylstra led the Lions in TE snaps and saw 6 targets last week. They play the cards and will be losing…
Donovan Peoples-Jones - Jarvis Landry (and everyone other Browns player) has Covid. They have to throw to someone, and DPJ had 90 yards on 7 catches last week.

The Morning Huddle